You will be better equipped to help your friend if you take it upon yourself to learn about his illness. “ People can cope with what they know, but they cannot cope with what they don’t know,” I often say. To the words your friend is sharing with you. Don’t worry so much about what you will say. Without judging are critical helping tools. Your physical presence and desire to listen You can listen well, you can help your friend cope during this difficult time. And while you can be a “safe harbor” for your friend to explain his thoughts and feelings, don’t Keep in mind that your friend will experience this illness in his own unique way.Īllow your friend to talk about his illness at his own Your friend may want to openly discuss her illness and impending death, or he may avoid discussing it. She may not be up for company all the time. To walk this difficult road with you and face with you whatever comes.”ĭo respect your friend’s need for alone time, though, and realize that her deteriorating physical condition Your simple presence will say to your friend, “I am willing Visit your friendĪt the hospital or at home - not just once, but throughout the remainder of her days. The opportunity to demonstrate your support by being there, literally, when your friend needs you most. Particularly if you live nearby, you have The greatest gift you can give your dying friend is the gift of your presence. Will later come to accept it with your heart. This is normal.įor now, though, try to accept the reality of your friend’s medical condition, if only with your head. He actually dies that you fully and finally acknowledge the reality. You will probably come to accept the fact of your friend’s impending death over time, and it may not be until This difficult reality for yourself is the first step you can take to help your dying friend. This brochure will guide you in ways to help your friend - and yourself - during the last days of his life. This is an extremely difficult time not only for you, but for your friend and all who careĪbout him. We shared such an intimate friendship in that very few do we really trust with our hearts and our deep feelings. As if we were connected through a place far closer than words could ever Periods of silence that felt so intimate as well. When we had those deep intimate talks, I listened and listened some more and she cried and I cried. She was strong and funny and fierce when she needed to be. She loved to laugh and she was so good at cheering others She wanted to stay longerĪs she loved life and so many of her close friends and loved ones. Her fear of dying with me and how much it ached her heart to leave her young adult children behind. That she would appreciate me sharing my emotions too instead of trying to be "strong" for her. I would make sure I was inĪ place to be completely present and just listen with love, compassion and empathy. "Okay this is one of those I know I am going to die and I am not ready" calls. We spookeĪlmost every day during the last months of her life. I lost one of my best friends to colon cancer a couple of years ago. This activity was taught to me in a class I took with Douglas C Smith, Tools to Assist the Dying, The Grieving and * What has been happening in the past hours? * What has been happening in the past days? Please take good care of yourself.ĭon't be afraid to ask about your friend's vision of how they would like to die.Īctivity is so helpful for those closest to the person dying as well as the dying person as well.Īsk the person to share verbally or in writing how they would like it to happen. It can help to find someone who understands. Grief is exhaustingĪnd can make people feel irritable, lonely, misunderstood, sad and a bit lost. Please be very patient, gentle and kind with yourself. Loss to be losing someone who is close and dear to you. They have been there with us for tough times and good times. Yet friends carry so much of our past, our memories and shared experiences. They often will when a family member is dying. Many people don't often offer much support to grieving friends or friends coping with an anticipated loss of a friend, as It probably means that you have a friend who is dying. After checking Herodotus' statement via dimensions Ballard concludes: 'I have therefore the authority of Herodotus to support the theory which I shall subsequently set forth, that this pyramid was the exponent of lines divided in mean and extreme ratio.I am sorry if you have come to this page because 'Geometrical peculiarities of the Pyramids', Ballard shows the relationship between the equal area theory and the golden number.
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